Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
