Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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