she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
