the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
