He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Sorry about my life...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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