Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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