Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
