She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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