Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
