I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
