you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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