so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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