Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Damn victory sex feels great
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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