I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
