is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize