I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
