I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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