Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
