Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize