id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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