I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
