No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
he high fived his dick after we had sex
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I'm having to shit out rocks
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