I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
