It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
