i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
