I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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