There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize