Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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