farters have to be the big spoon...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
