Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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