Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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