Too much gin, very little bucket
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
