P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize