Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
