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Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just had sex on a roof
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
