Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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