covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
