She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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