I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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