hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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