just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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