no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
