so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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