he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
operation have a gay friend backfired
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
