Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
