Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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