You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
