I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
