I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize