let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
