Grow some girl-balls and come out already
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
