How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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