I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
