my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
