love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
