This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
