So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
