i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
