i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
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