His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
