I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
im six kinds of drunk right now
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
