Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
it's like heaven, but drunker
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
