ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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