can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
