I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
