do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize