I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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