Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
