sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
