he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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