She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
