my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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