Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I think my moral compass just broke
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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